Be Present

Listening is hard. Talking is hard.

Having a decent conversation can be a challenge as I listen and try to understand what is being said to me. As I hear the words being spoken, and maybe you, I can get lost listening to my thoughts in response to the words I am processing. I translate the message being said and then, in no time at all, I have lost the conversation. As I said, listening is hard.

Sharing my thoughts can be a challenge as well. I am thinking what is the best way to say what I am thinking as I am trying to say what I have to say. The other person's responses, eye movement, facial expressions, and body language may make me adjust what I am saying so I can be understood. Again, talking is hard.

There are a number of communication models and here is one I heard today (this is condensed):

1. We, or at least me, only remember 3 things.
1. in other words less is more, or at least for me.
1. is it personal?
2. is it ambiguous?
3. is it anxiety producing?
1. touching on all of these will make me, and others, remember what is being said.
2. We want to be heard.
1. Here are some things that need to be overcome to hear others:
1. Observations
2. Others
3. Baggage
4. Assumptions
5. Conclusions
6. Beliefs
3. We need to engage internally before we engage externally (awkward but that is the way I heard it)
1. Is our explanation clear?
2. Is our expectation clear?
3. Is our engagement clear?

This is one model and not one that I particularly follow. It is too complicated. My process is simple, I need simple, and I believe in KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid). Be Present. That is all I try to do. So, if we are talking and you don't think I am listening and talking very well, tell me to be present.